GIERS

The grief experience can create very powerful emotional reactions. No two people respond exactly the same but there are some symptoms that seem to appear for almost all people recovering from grief. In the first few months, people report feelings of shock and numbness, mental confusion, loss of memory, and a general sense of disorientation. As the months go on, there may be a sharper clarity about the reality of the loss and strong waves of sadness, anger may cause wide mood swings. People who were normally calm and organized prior to the loss, may feel overwhelmed and out of control. Often they will say” Am I going crazy? This is just not me!”

In almost all cases these extreme moods and confusion are normal in response to the disorientation that grieving can produce. If a person is still taking care of themselves by eating, drinking and maintaining some contact with others, they are probably going to pass through this volatile grief stage with relative ease. However, if the person does not seem to be able to function at all for an extended period of time, it would be important for them to see a professional or if necessary go to the emergency room to be evaluated. It is always better to be safe than sorry.

It can be very helpful for people to attend a group that focuses on the loss they have experienced. It can be a great comfort to hear that they are not alone in their reactions and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

A small, but warm group of strangers, met for their first experience with The Mourning After grief counseling group this past Friday. The welcoming atmosphere of Center Playhouse in Freehold became an ice breaker for the people entering, each carrying their own story.  Attendees appreciated meeting in an informal, creative environment instead of a hospital or house of worship.

We began by introducing ourselves and sharing some of the structure of the way the group is led. Specifically, that all personal information is held in confidence by group members and no one is required to speak or participate  before he or she is ready.

As the group warmed up and began to trust the experience and each other, Bob and I enjoyed the process of helping people recognize that they are not alone and that they can come to a place where they can experience the whole spectrum of their feelings with others doing the same. By the end of the session, everyone seemed more relaxed and comfortable. Some group members took a little more time to talk and connect with each other after the meeting. The seeds of real support were planted and we look forward to our next group meeting on Friday, December 3. What a joy to do this wonderful work together!!

Why would you found GIERS, a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization that works to assist people to cope with all kinds of loss? This is a question Bob and I have been asked many times. In our over thirty years of work as Counselors in Private Practice and Hospice /Oncology Trainers and Educators, we have seen the power of unresolved grief in people’s lives. Whether the loss is through death,  divorce, career changes, or  health challenges, people experience a wide range of emotional reactions. They often feel overwhelmed and isolated.These roller coaster feelings can stay with them throughout their lives and damage close relationships, confidence, and may encourage substance abuse and other compulsive habits. If the griever find a way to work through the feelings, he or she can let go of the pain and move on to more fulfilled lives.

The pressures of a tight economy has made it more difficult to find free or affordable services to help with these vital issues. We decided to take our skills, knowledge of running a non-profit and counseling experience to launch this much needed organization. People recovering from loss can find peace with the past, live in the present and dream of a better future. We are so happy to have the opportunity to do what we love and to share what we have been taught by our best teachers; our clients and countless group members.

We are developing exciting groups and programs that will be multi-generational, multi-cultural and inspiring to all who participate. We hope you will join us in this new venture either as a participant, a volunteer, or a donor . We will create this wonderful  organization together.

By Bernice Garfield-Szita Co- Founder and Co-Executive Director of GIERS